


It hurts to see you cry

by elhopperperalta



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, They love each other so much, because apparently thats what i do best, post trying hurt/comfort, you know the drill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:09:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25391413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elhopperperalta/pseuds/elhopperperalta
Summary: Jake and Amy take a trip to the cinema on their day off, but everything begins to go downhill.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	It hurts to see you cry

**Author's Note:**

> because apparently writing post trying fic is my only talent at this point <33

Okay, so maybe going to the cinema on one of their shared days off to watch a film about children wasn’t one of the greatest ideas Jake had ever had, but it had seemed like a fun thing to do at the time. Amy had been down all week, and he truly hated seeing her like that. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, and her hand clutched his fingers a little too tight whenever she grabbed his hand for comfort. She was in pain. And boy did it hurt him to witness that pain.

He had suggested it to her as they lay in bed that morning, the sun flickering through the gap in the curtains, waking them both at 10am. For Amy that was incredibly late, and she was horrified, but Jake reassured her that it was good and the extra hours of sleep were needed for the both of them. 

‘Morning, sweetheart.’ he whispered, tucking a stray hair behind her ear tenderly and running a thumb across her cheek.

She sighed softly, rolling over to tuck herself into his side. Her nose was placed against his shoulder bone, and he could feel her soft breaths against his neck.

‘G’morning.’

He clutched her tightly to him and kissed her hairline, breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo.

‘What do you want to do today?’ He murmured, ‘do you want to go somewhere? Because we don’t have to. We could just lay here all day.’

‘As great as that sounds, I think we should probably make the most of our shared day off,’ she said, her voice rough from sleep, ‘we hardly ever get them.’

‘That’s true,’ he agreed, ‘where do you want to go then? The cinema? It probably won’t be that crowded today as it’s a Thursday.’

‘Okay, sure,’ Amy nodded into his chest, ‘let’s do it.’

They were both ready by twelve. Jake grabbed Amy’s purse and her hand, and led them out of the door towards the crowded New York street. He didn’t want to stress out his wife today, as she seemed a little fragile and emotional, as though one tap would push her over the edge. He knew she hated large crowds, so instead of taking the subway to the cinema, he decided to walk instead. They both needed fresh air, as after their devastating decision to stop trying they had both taken to staying inside as much as possible when they weren’t at work, because they were truly exhausted for most of their waking hours. Fresh meals had been traded for takeaways most of the time, and although it wasn’t great, it was easy, and that was what they needed right now. So, walking for ten minutes would be good for them, he figured.

Amy just clutched his hand tight, following him down the street and not saying much at all. It was quite unnerving, and it scared Jake a little that his almost always talkative wife had taken to being silent majority of the time. His heart broke for her.

‘You good, Ames?’ He asked, stroking his thumb against the rings on her left hand which were digging into his palm.

‘Oh, I’m fine, yeah,’ she replied quietly, staring down at the floor, ‘I’m fine.’

‘You sure?’

She looked on the verge of breaking.

She smiled at him, squeezing his hand. ‘Yes, Jake. I promise you I’m fine.’

He nodded. ‘Okay babe, as long as you’re sure.’

But he wasn’t convinced at all.

She had said that she was fine. And although all his instincts told him otherwise, he knew that he could trust his wife. She was the one person he trusted with everything. If she was fine, she was fine. So he believed her.

Nothing remotely terrible happened in the beginning of the movie, so she seemed like she was okay then. She had rested her head on his shoulder and sighed, seemingly content. Her hand had never left his either. 

The film wasn’t sad. It was about a woman with children, that was it. Yes, that subject was a bit difficult on the both of them at the moment, but the film was lighthearted, happy. Not sad. He would never have picked a movie that would make her sad, especially not right now. They were trying to deal with the idea of Amy maybe never being able to carry a child, and that was enough sadness as it is. Adding more onto that would just break them both.

It was the end that got her. The birth scene. A beautiful scene of the main woman protagonist giving birth to her _third_ _child_. It hit Amy hard in the face at that moment that she might not ever get to give birth to and carry just _one_ of her own children. 

He could feel her shaking under his arm, and he knew she was holding back tears. He wished, oh how he wished, that they were happy tears. But they weren’t.

To prevent herself from full on sobbing in the middle of the movie theatre, Amy untangled herself from Jake and rushed to the exit, needing to get out of there as soon as possible before she had a breakdown. Jake waited a few seconds before rushing after her.

He hoped to god that she was okay.

He found her in the cinema corridor, tears running down her face at a terrifying speed. She was breathing fast and irregular. She looked up at him as he rushed towards her, holding her arms out so he could pull her into a hug. She accepted it gratefully, and he held her against him. She was shaking violently as she sobbed and sobbed into his shoulder, and at that moment he felt completely helpless. She was so upset, and all he wanted to do was take away all of the pain that she was carrying. But he didn’t have that power. So he did what he knew he did best.

‘Hey, Ames, breathe,’ he whispered soothingly, ‘okay? With me, in, and out. That’s it, you’re doing great, just keep breathing, shhhh.’

He rocked her shaking body slowly back and forth, whispering soft words of encouragement into her hair as she calmed down a little. Her breathing had slowed, finally. Tears were still running down her face so he pulled away to gently wipe them away with the pad of his thumb. 

‘Come on, let’s go.’ He murmured, taking her hand and leading her carefully down the corridor. 

They end up in a quiet park a little outside of the bustling main city area, on a small wooden bench overlooking a pond. Most of the panic had subsided, but Jake could still clearly see tear tracks etched on her face. She was breathing normally though, which was good. He watched her staring into the distance, her eyes focused on a random point on the horizon. She was distracted. He could see it in her eyes.

‘Ames?’ He asked, pulling her out of her momentary trance.

She looked up quickly, jumping a little. ‘Yeah, babe?’

Her voice was quiet and soft, too quiet almost. She sounded sad.

‘Are you okay?’

She sighed, sounding so very _fed up_ , and his heart broke once again. ‘Well, if I’m being honest, no. No, no, no. Not at all, Jake.’

Tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them quickly away before they could take over again.

‘Me too.’ He admitted, on the verge of tears himself.

He squeezed her hand, reaching up with the other to wipe away the tears as they fell. He couldn’t cry, not now. He had to be strong for her.

‘It just seems so horribly _final_. Like, its never ever going to happen for us. It’s been six months and I’ve lost hope completely.’

‘I really want to say something encouraging as heck right now, but,’ he laughed quietly, and she giggled too, which made him smile, ‘I’ve lost hope too. And I know thats not the right mindset to have at all, of course I do, but we’ve been trying for _so long_ , and it hasn’t happened. And it hurts me so much because all I want to do is give you a child.’

She smiled up at him sympathetically then, her eyes glazed over with unshed tears. 

‘But, even though it seems unlikely to ever happen,’ he continued, ‘it could. It could still happen, Ames. So we can’t completely give up hope yet, not when there’s still some left.’

She had the urge to hug him then, so she flung her arms around his neck, and he pulled her closer, placing kiss after kiss on her forehead and her temple and the top of her head. 

‘I love you so much.’ 

‘I love you too, _so much_.’ Said Amy contentedly, tilting her head up to kiss him.

They would be okay. They had each other after all.

And that was all that they needed.

**Author's Note:**

> okay, i promise I'll write something different next time. but i hope you enjoyed anyway!!


End file.
